The Booger Monster

Once upon a time there was a little boy named Billy who was famous for his love of nose-picking. It was quite a gross and disturbing habit, but Billy was perhaps the greatest nose picker in the entire world. He picked it with his left hand, he picked it with his right hand, he picked it with his index finger, and he picked it with his pinkie finger. He could even pick it with his toes. That's right -- his toes. If there was anything in his nose, Billy could get it out.

His parents constantly told him not to pick his nose. It's too gross, too disgusting, too nasty a habit they said. No one will want to be around you and no one will want to shake your hand. No one will play with you.

But Billy didn't care. He just had to have that finger in his nose.

One day his mother told him, "Billy, if you keep picking that nose, the booger monster is going to come slime you."

"What's a booger monster?" asked Billy.

"The booger monster is a monster that loves little kids who pick their noses," explained Mommy. "He loves them because he craves boogers, and the little kids who pick their noses have an abundance of boogers. He comes to slime them, to show them that he appreciates their nose picking. It is very very unpleasant," said Mommy. "He usually comes in through your closet door."

But Billy didn't care. He didn't believe her. Still, he kept an eye on that closet door.

And that afternoon, Billy heard a thump in his closet. He opened the door and peered inside -- were those eyeballs? Was someone looking at him?

"YEEAAARRRGGGH!!!" The booger monster jumped out and landed on top of Billy! "YAAAAAHHHH!!!" As he screamed, the booger monster seemed to melt right on top of Billy! Billy sat on the floor, covered from head to toe in snot. It was revolting.Even his dog couldn't stand the sight of him.

And so, Billy got slimed.

Mommy asked Billy if he had learned a lesson. "Heck yeah!" said Billy. "I've got my own monster! Getting slimed was awesome!"

And thereafter, he picked his nose twice as much.
The end.

The Lost Children of the Drain

Once upon a time there was a very small, curious boy named Ivan, who was always quick to get into trouble because of his inquisitive nature. Ivan loved many things -- he loved playing soccer, he loved dancing, he loved figuring out how things worked. Above all, though, Ivan loved to take baths.

Ivan would spend hours in the bathtub singing, wiggling his toes, and playing in the bubbles. When bath time was over, however, Ivan immediately stepped out of the tub, because his mommy told him that if he didn't, he would get magically sucked down the drain with the bath water.

But, of course, Ivan was curious, and so one day he pulled out the drain plug to see what would happen. He waited, and nothing happened. Mommy was just joshing him. He stuck a finger in the drain. Nothing. He stuck a toe in the drain and wiggled it. Nothing.

But as he tried to pull his toe out, he discovered that it was stuck. He tried and tried, but couldn't pull it out. What was he going to do?

SLURP. His whole foot slid into the drain.

SLURP. In went in his legs. Oh no! "Help! Help!" he cried, but Mommy was too late -- Ivan was sucked down the drain.

Down, down he went, through the swirling and twisting pipes. Down, down, down, until suddenly--

Ivan dropped from the sky into an enormous, magic bubbling lake which was filled with all types of magical creatures. Ivan saw mermaids, a magic octopus, glowing fish, and dancing swordfish. And on the lake's shoreline Ivan saw all of the other boys and girls who just couldn't listen to their mommies and had fallen from the sky -- the lost children of the drain.

Ivan spent hours playing with the children, swimming in the magic lake, trying to catch the glowing fish and riding the magic dolphins. Finally, Ivan rested on a rock near a group of mermaids.

"Hello, Ivan," said the mermaids.

"Hi," said Ivan. "This place is awesome! I'm going to spend a lot of time here, I can tell. But tell me -- how do I get home?"

"Home?" replied the mermaids. "You can't go home. You have to live here. You shouldn't have put your toe in the drain."

And this made Ivan very sad. So sad that he attracted the attention of a nearby barracuda.

"I can get you home," said the barracuda. "There is a witch at the end of the lake that can send you home. Come with me."

But Ivan didn't trust the barracuda. He had sharp teeth, and Ivan was sure that the barracuda wanted to eat him for dinner. "No thanks," said Ivan. "Get on your way." And so the barracuda left, knowing that this child was too smart to be eaten.

Nevertheless, Ivan decided to seek out the witch. If she could get him home, it was worth the risk of dealing with a haggard old witch.

He walked along the shoreline for hours until he came to a small house made entirely of magic bubbles. "Hello!" he cried, hoping someone would hear him.

And as he turned his head, he saw the most beautiful lady in the world floating toward him from the house, wearing nothing but a sparkling white dress made of bubbles. "Hello, little boy," she said."Hello," said Ivan. "Can you send me home?"

"Indeed I can, young sir." And with that, she flicked her magic wand, causing an enormous bubble to float toward Ivan. It scared him and he ran, but soon the bubble swallowed him and lifted him into the sky. Ivan floated for what seemed like days and days high in the sky, until finally he started to see some things that looked familiar. He saw his Mommy's office, and he saw his school, and finally... his house. He was wondering how he would get down and how he would get to his house when the bubble suddenly popped, causing Ivan to fall once more toward the ground. He closed his eyes -- this was going to hurt!

He was falling! Here comes the ground! Here it comes! Here it comes! Here it comes! Here it --

Where WAS the ground? He opened his eyes, and found that he was once again sitting in his bathtub. Mommy walked in.

"Ivan! You let all the water out again! Aren't you cold?" And Mommy wrapped Ivan up in a towel, helped him brush his teeth, and got him dressed for bed. "Goodnight, little one," Mommy said with a kiss, and Ivan drifted off to sleep.© 2009 Scruggs and Litchford